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Abridge Prepatory noun: 1. a wealthy private high school located in Southern California · Abridge Prepatory may be a prestigious house of academia, but this palace looks like a prison.
A place built of cement, from the walls to the steps, to the large cement blocks in the quad that are supposed to be, what, some kind of minimalist oversized benches? These large squares give you vibes of building blocks, but without the fun—just stolid, sad, immovable grey, modern art designed by a sadist. You are sure you read on the website that some renowned architect envisioned this place, planning every crack in the cement side walk aligned with every boxy cement column towards the three-story cement building with glass windows breaking up all the cemented cement.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter.
At least you hope it won’t be as bad as before. You’re beginning the eleventh grade, and some faces from your last school have also transferred here, so you’re stuck in the bathroom trying not to panic even though you’ve had all summer to prepare for this, and you try to count to 8 on each inhale and count back on the exhale, and you try to remind yourself that Zachary isn’t here, he isn’t here, he isn’t here, and things can be different. They can. They have to be. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The final bell has already rung and you know you’re late to your first class on your first day and you don’t want to be but you also don’t want to vomit on the floor or cry in front of everyone because you’d rather take detention than another two years of merciless bullying. You feel yourself spiraling. Retreat to what you know, what do you know, things you remember.
“Answer. That you are here—that life exists and identity, The powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.” The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Three is the square root of nine. The star-spangled banner was written during the war of 1812.
Anything but the thought of another stiff leg to your ribs, a promise that you’re worthless. Eventually you’ll have to unlock the door. Eventually you’ll have to go out there. The clock on the wall tick, tick, ticks.
And eventually you’ll have to leave the bathroom.
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